For years now I've been obsessed with the noosphere, or the EGG project, which is now called the Global Consciousness Project. It's a set of random number generators (called "eggs") distributed throughout the world that basically flip a coin 200 times a second. Statistically, the probability works out to 50/50, but sometimes, these eggs have shown that large scale world events, both positive and negative, have influenced the numbers. The scientists conducting the study hypothesize that this can prove that we are all connected to a larger global consciousness, that attention influences reality, or that future events can be predicted.
Here's an NBC News video that explains it in video:
Plus, it's very meditative to listen to the heartbeat of the eggs in the Realtime Display.
This is a combination of multiple themed blogs throughout the years. Now it's just a catch-all. Enjoy.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Top 100 Things IMDB users have learned from The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Culled from the 100 THINGS I'VE LEARNED from this movie post on IMDB:
(1) You come and go in this life wearing DIAPERS.
(2) You can drive your motorcycle fast even when you are 75
(3) The Father of the penguin in Batman returns wasn't the only guy who deserted his son because he was UGLY.
(4) Look BOTH ways when you are CROSSING the street.
(5) You can inherit a factory without ID.
(6) You can live you life backwards and no one will noticed it.
(7) You can wait until your very LAST BREATH to tell your kid who her real father is.
(8) Dancers are sluts.
(9) Prostitutes are sluts (I knew that already, I didn't wait for the movie).
(10) The aging make-up still sucks in the movies.
(11) Computers makes you look younger.
(12) You can make a silly idea that can be put in a 15 minutes sketch to a 2.5 hours $150 million movie and get away with it.
(13) Abandon your wife and child if you don't think you will be mature enough to take care of them
(14) it's okay to have an affair with a married person as long as you find them fascinating
(15) if you are the father of a woman's child, you can have sex with her whenever you want even if you left her and she got married
(16) Submarines are no match for tugboats
(17) It's totally acceptable to withhold your entire career - your main passion in life - from your child until the last hours of your life.
(18) If you dance into the street you will probably get hit by a car and ruin your career as a dancer.
(19) Now you know why trains never left the New Orleans station on time for 80 years.
(20) It's good to have a surname related to your business such as Button's buttons.
(21) You can still sleep in a movie theater.
(22) You can still make Brad Pitt RICHER!
(23) You can still believe that Oscars have No credibility at all.
(24) You can still go to the restroom in a movie theater, without losing too much from the plot.
(25) If you don't like this movie you can always go and see CLICK with ...Adam Sandler!!
(26) Playing the piano is like riding a bicycle. You never forget it, even if you haven't played for years.
(27) Don't go against a military submarine with a keelboat
(28) Don't go unarmed against machine guns
(29) Hummingbirds can be found at sea
(30) If you show up in the dead of night at your dad's place, the butler will let you pick him up and carry him off somewhere just on the word that you're his son (who the butler has never met or heard of)
(31) Prostitutes will sleep with anyone including really old men
(32) If you get shot several times by a heavy machine gun, you will still have enough time to say something really profound before you die.
(33) Vodka and Caviar is a good combination, but don't eat wine and cheese in russia
(34) Being struck by lightning is way coooool
(35) Marley an Me or Ben Buttons .. either way a Dog dies in the end
(36) If the main character ages backwards then the public will overlook the fact that the movie is a long slow bore full of syrupy greeting card wisdom.
(37) I can check my watch 17 times in one movie
(38) You can leave a crippled old man with the mind of a 7-year old in a part of the city he's never been to, and he'll always find his way home safely.
(39) We can add hummingbirds to the list of items that symbolize someone's spirit trying to talk to you.
(40)hummingbirds can still fly in the rough intense deadly winds of hurricane katrina
(41)Even after being born with a fantastic mutation that reverse ages you, you can still lead a very boring, unremarkable life.
(42) Just because its 2009 does not mean we can not use the old 'Magical Negro' story device.
(43) twirling head-on into the middle of the street without heeding traffic is a perfectly safe activity that only bad luck could turn into tragedy.
(44) Dogs can live to be 30 years old
(45) When your wife starts to show signs of age, abandon her and your newborn baby to ride a motorcycle and wash clothes in India, then return years later for some sex.
(46) Even though its -30C outside, Russian flies are still buzzing around & can still get into your honey!
(47) Tilda Swinton prefers her tea without honey & flies.
(48) Benjamin was a pervy old bastard when he was young.
(49) You can forget a movie even without ...Alzheimer's!
(50) You can be thankful to the Internet and save the money for a ticket!
(51) An infant with this condition will have the ability to physically grow with their older body, but will shrink back down to the infant's body when they actually get older
(52) If you're going to destroy a U-boat, make sure you have a strong tugboat.
(53) If you know you're going to die, give your life savings to someone you trust.
(54) A M1911 pistol is no match for a M42 machinegun.
(55) If you're going to play a piano, make sure your audience isn't deaf.
(56) It is perfectly reasonable to marry a man you feel nothing for if your daughter needs a father, and not a playmate. That man will be perfectly happy just being a background character in your extraordinary life and will not hold it against you if you sleep with the real father of your child who just got back from screwing around in India for a decade.
(57) Clockmakers make good row boatmen!
(58) Infidelity and abandonment of your loved ones are okay as long as you age in reverse.
(59) You can be left on the door step of a nursing home and no one calls the police.
(60) You can be raised in this nursing home for 20 years.
(61) Character depth comes from muttering cliches.
(62) 6 year olds curse like sailors
(63) Some people don't mind reading about their mothers SEX life!...ewwww
(64) Someone getting stuck by lightning will always be funny!
(65) Even if you sling arthritic baby out of his crib and steping on it it won't die.
(66) If you see a humingbird in the middle of the sea and during a hurrican know that it's REALLY lost! lol!
(67) Doctors were so smart 80 years ago that they could diagnose an infant with being born an old man after a 10 second examination, even though no doctor had ever seen anything like it before.
(68) You can't smoke in a hospital.
(69) A magic clock intended to bring back dead soldiers instead creates a naive, bland human being with a rather sheltered, ordinary life.
(70) You can't die in a hospital bed until you get EVERYTHING off your chest. After that, THEN you can die.
(71) The hurricane will wait for you to spill your guts to your daughter before it brings its full force to bear on the hospital where you are dying.
(72) Somehow, even a movie pining for Oscar glory will eerily mirror Razzie-winner "Freddy Got Fingered" (scene where lady finally swims English Channel resembles part where Betty finishes her rocket-wheelchair, and both Tom Green and Brad Pitt watch it on TV and feel encouraged to go on with their lives).
(73) Everyone in New Orleans sounds like a low-rent comedian's exaggerated impression of Scarlet O'Hara.
(74) The guy who gets struck by lightning is guaranteed to make everyone laugh in the theater everytime he repeats the same thing.
(75) Being a faith healer, and therefore more in touch with God than us mere mortals, doesn't guarantee you won't abruptly fall dead after a heart attack during a meeting.
(76) Nobody thinks to put a pretty, historic, backwards-running clock in a museum?
(77) You should always end an affair with a pleasant note such as, "Nice to have met you." (or something like that)
(78) A female dancer wanted to sleep with Daisy.
(79) Ben had sex with one or two or three women.
(80) Diseased old babies look like some lady's ex-husbands
(81) lots of late night tea lead to lots of sex, especially with europeans
(82) Navajos think America is the greatest country in the world, even after we stole it from them.
(83) God is mean and will strike you with lightning just to make you appreciate the fact that you're alive.
(84) That if you want to make a butt load of money, all you have to do is re-write Forrest Gump and sell it to the American public! They'll buy anything!!!
(85) United States of America spells out F-R-E-E-D-O-M
(86) U-boats always surfaced in enemy waters after an attack with enemy vessles around.
(87) U-boats would prefer to engage enemy ships with the 7.92mm AA mg rather than the 5 inch deck gun, or even just submerge and get the hell out of there...
(88) You can live for 85 years and the only funny thing you'll ever hear is a old man recounting the times he was struck by lightning.
(89) Only people who age backwards have to experience the pain and suffering of seeing the people they love die before they do.
(90) Tugboat business slow in the Big Easy? Head for Murmansk!
(91) If you have a 80yr old new born infant, DEFINATELY throw it in the river & save people three hours of their life!
(92) Irish tugboat skippers are drunker than Oliver Reed & are prone to getting erections when wearing Y-fronts.
(93) Everyone seems to fvck & have kids in New Orleans, but nobody gets married.
(94) The struck-by-lightning story grew older quicker then Brad Pitt grew younger.
(95) The wives of British spies are easier to pick up than week old Dog's droppings.
(96) If you do something stupid like dance out into the middle of a street without looking both ways and happen to get hit by a taxi, it's not your fault: it's actually due to a complicated series of Chaos Theory events that had nothing to do with your own actions.
(97) If you have a bad feeling like you you're going to die, but want your wife to know that you were thinking of her, just give your money to some random guy who looks trustworthy; it'll get where it's going.
(98) They dont have laundrettes in India.
(99) You can strucked by lightening 7 times but it will need a lot of time to tell it.
(100) Blind people make good clocks.
Thanks to all posters.
(1) You come and go in this life wearing DIAPERS.
(2) You can drive your motorcycle fast even when you are 75
(3) The Father of the penguin in Batman returns wasn't the only guy who deserted his son because he was UGLY.
(4) Look BOTH ways when you are CROSSING the street.
(5) You can inherit a factory without ID.
(6) You can live you life backwards and no one will noticed it.
(7) You can wait until your very LAST BREATH to tell your kid who her real father is.
(8) Dancers are sluts.
(9) Prostitutes are sluts (I knew that already, I didn't wait for the movie).
(10) The aging make-up still sucks in the movies.
(11) Computers makes you look younger.
(12) You can make a silly idea that can be put in a 15 minutes sketch to a 2.5 hours $150 million movie and get away with it.
(13) Abandon your wife and child if you don't think you will be mature enough to take care of them
(14) it's okay to have an affair with a married person as long as you find them fascinating
(15) if you are the father of a woman's child, you can have sex with her whenever you want even if you left her and she got married
(16) Submarines are no match for tugboats
(17) It's totally acceptable to withhold your entire career - your main passion in life - from your child until the last hours of your life.
(18) If you dance into the street you will probably get hit by a car and ruin your career as a dancer.
(19) Now you know why trains never left the New Orleans station on time for 80 years.
(20) It's good to have a surname related to your business such as Button's buttons.
(21) You can still sleep in a movie theater.
(22) You can still make Brad Pitt RICHER!
(23) You can still believe that Oscars have No credibility at all.
(24) You can still go to the restroom in a movie theater, without losing too much from the plot.
(25) If you don't like this movie you can always go and see CLICK with ...Adam Sandler!!
(26) Playing the piano is like riding a bicycle. You never forget it, even if you haven't played for years.
(27) Don't go against a military submarine with a keelboat
(28) Don't go unarmed against machine guns
(29) Hummingbirds can be found at sea
(30) If you show up in the dead of night at your dad's place, the butler will let you pick him up and carry him off somewhere just on the word that you're his son (who the butler has never met or heard of)
(31) Prostitutes will sleep with anyone including really old men
(32) If you get shot several times by a heavy machine gun, you will still have enough time to say something really profound before you die.
(33) Vodka and Caviar is a good combination, but don't eat wine and cheese in russia
(34) Being struck by lightning is way coooool
(35) Marley an Me or Ben Buttons .. either way a Dog dies in the end
(36) If the main character ages backwards then the public will overlook the fact that the movie is a long slow bore full of syrupy greeting card wisdom.
(37) I can check my watch 17 times in one movie
(38) You can leave a crippled old man with the mind of a 7-year old in a part of the city he's never been to, and he'll always find his way home safely.
(39) We can add hummingbirds to the list of items that symbolize someone's spirit trying to talk to you.
(40)hummingbirds can still fly in the rough intense deadly winds of hurricane katrina
(41)Even after being born with a fantastic mutation that reverse ages you, you can still lead a very boring, unremarkable life.
(42) Just because its 2009 does not mean we can not use the old 'Magical Negro' story device.
(43) twirling head-on into the middle of the street without heeding traffic is a perfectly safe activity that only bad luck could turn into tragedy.
(44) Dogs can live to be 30 years old
(45) When your wife starts to show signs of age, abandon her and your newborn baby to ride a motorcycle and wash clothes in India, then return years later for some sex.
(46) Even though its -30C outside, Russian flies are still buzzing around & can still get into your honey!
(47) Tilda Swinton prefers her tea without honey & flies.
(48) Benjamin was a pervy old bastard when he was young.
(49) You can forget a movie even without ...Alzheimer's!
(50) You can be thankful to the Internet and save the money for a ticket!
(51) An infant with this condition will have the ability to physically grow with their older body, but will shrink back down to the infant's body when they actually get older
(52) If you're going to destroy a U-boat, make sure you have a strong tugboat.
(53) If you know you're going to die, give your life savings to someone you trust.
(54) A M1911 pistol is no match for a M42 machinegun.
(55) If you're going to play a piano, make sure your audience isn't deaf.
(56) It is perfectly reasonable to marry a man you feel nothing for if your daughter needs a father, and not a playmate. That man will be perfectly happy just being a background character in your extraordinary life and will not hold it against you if you sleep with the real father of your child who just got back from screwing around in India for a decade.
(57) Clockmakers make good row boatmen!
(58) Infidelity and abandonment of your loved ones are okay as long as you age in reverse.
(59) You can be left on the door step of a nursing home and no one calls the police.
(60) You can be raised in this nursing home for 20 years.
(61) Character depth comes from muttering cliches.
(62) 6 year olds curse like sailors
(63) Some people don't mind reading about their mothers SEX life!...ewwww
(64) Someone getting stuck by lightning will always be funny!
(65) Even if you sling arthritic baby out of his crib and steping on it it won't die.
(66) If you see a humingbird in the middle of the sea and during a hurrican know that it's REALLY lost! lol!
(67) Doctors were so smart 80 years ago that they could diagnose an infant with being born an old man after a 10 second examination, even though no doctor had ever seen anything like it before.
(68) You can't smoke in a hospital.
(69) A magic clock intended to bring back dead soldiers instead creates a naive, bland human being with a rather sheltered, ordinary life.
(70) You can't die in a hospital bed until you get EVERYTHING off your chest. After that, THEN you can die.
(71) The hurricane will wait for you to spill your guts to your daughter before it brings its full force to bear on the hospital where you are dying.
(72) Somehow, even a movie pining for Oscar glory will eerily mirror Razzie-winner "Freddy Got Fingered" (scene where lady finally swims English Channel resembles part where Betty finishes her rocket-wheelchair, and both Tom Green and Brad Pitt watch it on TV and feel encouraged to go on with their lives).
(73) Everyone in New Orleans sounds like a low-rent comedian's exaggerated impression of Scarlet O'Hara.
(74) The guy who gets struck by lightning is guaranteed to make everyone laugh in the theater everytime he repeats the same thing.
(75) Being a faith healer, and therefore more in touch with God than us mere mortals, doesn't guarantee you won't abruptly fall dead after a heart attack during a meeting.
(76) Nobody thinks to put a pretty, historic, backwards-running clock in a museum?
(77) You should always end an affair with a pleasant note such as, "Nice to have met you." (or something like that)
(78) A female dancer wanted to sleep with Daisy.
(79) Ben had sex with one or two or three women.
(80) Diseased old babies look like some lady's ex-husbands
(81) lots of late night tea lead to lots of sex, especially with europeans
(82) Navajos think America is the greatest country in the world, even after we stole it from them.
(83) God is mean and will strike you with lightning just to make you appreciate the fact that you're alive.
(84) That if you want to make a butt load of money, all you have to do is re-write Forrest Gump and sell it to the American public! They'll buy anything!!!
(85) United States of America spells out F-R-E-E-D-O-M
(86) U-boats always surfaced in enemy waters after an attack with enemy vessles around.
(87) U-boats would prefer to engage enemy ships with the 7.92mm AA mg rather than the 5 inch deck gun, or even just submerge and get the hell out of there...
(88) You can live for 85 years and the only funny thing you'll ever hear is a old man recounting the times he was struck by lightning.
(89) Only people who age backwards have to experience the pain and suffering of seeing the people they love die before they do.
(90) Tugboat business slow in the Big Easy? Head for Murmansk!
(91) If you have a 80yr old new born infant, DEFINATELY throw it in the river & save people three hours of their life!
(92) Irish tugboat skippers are drunker than Oliver Reed & are prone to getting erections when wearing Y-fronts.
(93) Everyone seems to fvck & have kids in New Orleans, but nobody gets married.
(94) The struck-by-lightning story grew older quicker then Brad Pitt grew younger.
(95) The wives of British spies are easier to pick up than week old Dog's droppings.
(96) If you do something stupid like dance out into the middle of a street without looking both ways and happen to get hit by a taxi, it's not your fault: it's actually due to a complicated series of Chaos Theory events that had nothing to do with your own actions.
(97) If you have a bad feeling like you you're going to die, but want your wife to know that you were thinking of her, just give your money to some random guy who looks trustworthy; it'll get where it's going.
(98) They dont have laundrettes in India.
(99) You can strucked by lightening 7 times but it will need a lot of time to tell it.
(100) Blind people make good clocks.
Thanks to all posters.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Eric Prydz
Been listening to Eric Prydz/Pryda.
Songs: Call On Me (Eric Prydz Vs Retarded Funk Mix), Muranyi, Balaton - Original Mix*, Pjanoo (Club Mix), F12, Ron Hardy Said - Eric Prydz Remix*
*Got from beatport.com and the rest from iTunes.
Eric Prydz gained attention from his "Call on Me" featuring a sample from Steve Winwood's "Valerie."
From the Sunday Mail:
More on this DJ: Wikipedia, ericprydz.com, Pryda label, Myspace, call on me video
He also goes by the name Pryda.
On Youtube: Balaton, Muranyi, Genesis, Call on me (original mix)
Allmusic.com Bio:
Songs: Call On Me (Eric Prydz Vs Retarded Funk Mix), Muranyi, Balaton - Original Mix*, Pjanoo (Club Mix), F12, Ron Hardy Said - Eric Prydz Remix*
*Got from beatport.com and the rest from iTunes.
Eric Prydz gained attention from his "Call on Me" featuring a sample from Steve Winwood's "Valerie."
From the Sunday Mail:
In 2004, Steve reached a new generation of music fans when DJ Eric Prydz sampled his 1982 classic Valerie for dance hit, Call On Me.
"I re-recorded the vocal specially and sent it to him by email. I've still never met him," said Steve. "I couldn't believe it when it got to No. 1."
More on this DJ: Wikipedia, ericprydz.com, Pryda label, Myspace, call on me video
He also goes by the name Pryda.
On Youtube: Balaton, Muranyi, Genesis, Call on me (original mix)
Allmusic.com Bio:
Swedish DJ and producer Eric Prydz releases singles and EPs under a variety of project names, including Pryda, Cirez D, Sheridan, Dirty Funker, Moo, A and P Project, Axer, Hardform, Dukes of Sluca, and Groove System. Most of these singles are released on his own labels, which include Mouseville, Pryda, and Pryda Friends. Under his own name, however, Prydz favors straightforward, club-oriented house with a line in remakes of mildly cheesy pop songs from the 1980s. Prydz's first release in this style was 2004's "Call on Me," a sensation in Europe upon its release. Built on the hook from Steve Winwood's 1987 hit "Valerie" (with new vocals by Winwood), "Call on Me" hit the top of the singles chart in both England and Germany, spurred in large part by a somewhat controversial video consisting of an overtly sexual aerobic routine that had no less a personage than U.K. Prime Minister Tony Blair publicly commenting on its salaciousness. Prydz followed this in 2005 with "Woz Not Woz," a beat-heavy instrumental revamp of the 1980 Was (Not Was) single "Wheel Me Out" that was less commercially successful but more musically inventive. This was followed in 2006 by "Proper Education," a remake of Pink Floyd's smash "Another Brick in the Wall, Pt. 2" that sets Roger Waters and the schoolchildren chorus to a considerably funkier backbeat; this single was also released in a Daft Punk remix.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Chapter I.
HUCKLEBERRY FINN
Scene: The Mississippi Valley Time: Forty to fifty years ago
CHAPTER I.
YOU don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of The
Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain't no matter. That book was made
by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly. There was things which
he stretched, but mainly he told the truth. That is nothing. I never
seen anybody but lied one time or another, without it was Aunt Polly, or
the widow, or maybe Mary. Aunt Polly--Tom's Aunt Polly, she is--and
Mary, and the Widow Douglas is all told about in that book, which is
mostly a true book, with some stretchers, as I said before.
Now the way that the book winds up is this: Tom and me found the money
that the robbers hid in the cave, and it made us rich. We got six
thousand dollars apiece--all gold. It was an awful sight of money when
it was piled up. Well, Judge Thatcher he took it and put it out at
interest, and it fetched us a dollar a day apiece all the year round
--more than a body could tell what to do with. The Widow Douglas she took
me for her son, and allowed she would sivilize me; but it was rough
living in the house all the time, considering how dismal regular and
decent the widow was in all her ways; and so when I couldn't stand it no
longer I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again,
and was free and satisfied. But Tom Sawyer he hunted me up and said he
was going to start a band of robbers, and I might join if I would go back
to the widow and be respectable. So I went back.
The widow she cried over me, and called me a poor lost lamb, and she
called me a lot of other names, too, but she never meant no harm by it.
She put me in them new clothes again, and I couldn't do nothing but sweat
and sweat, and feel all cramped up. Well, then, the old thing commenced
again. The widow rung a bell for supper, and you had to come to time.
When you got to the table you couldn't go right to eating, but you had to
wait for the widow to tuck down her head and grumble a little over the
victuals, though there warn't really anything the matter with them,--that
is, nothing only everything was cooked by itself. In a barrel of odds
and ends it is different; things get mixed up, and the juice kind of
swaps around, and the things go better.
After supper she got out her book and learned me about Moses and the
Bulrushers, and I was in a sweat to find out all about him; but by and by
she let it out that Moses had been dead a considerable long time; so then
I didn't care no more about him, because I don't take no stock in dead
people.
Pretty soon I wanted to smoke, and asked the widow to let me. But she
wouldn't. She said it was a mean practice and wasn't clean, and I must
try to not do it any more. That is just the way with some people. They
get down on a thing when they don't know nothing about it. Here she was
a-bothering about Moses, which was no kin to her, and no use to anybody,
being gone, you see, yet finding a power of fault with me for doing a
thing that had some good in it. And she took snuff, too; of course that
was all right, because she done it herself.
Her sister, Miss Watson, a tolerable slim old maid, with goggles on,
had just come to live with her, and took a set at me now with a
spelling-book. She worked me middling hard for about an hour, and then
the widow made her ease up. I couldn't stood it much longer. Then for
an hour it was deadly dull, and I was fidgety. Miss Watson would say,
"Don't put your feet up there, Huckleberry;" and "Don't scrunch up like
that, Huckleberry--set up straight;" and pretty soon she would say,
"Don't gap and stretch like that, Huckleberry--why don't you try to
behave?" Then she told me all about the bad place, and I said I wished I
was there. She got mad then, but I didn't mean no harm. All I wanted was
to go somewheres; all I wanted was a change, I warn't particular. She
said it was wicked to say what I said; said she wouldn't say it for the
whole world; she was going to live so as to go to the good place. Well,
I couldn't see no advantage in going where she was going, so I made up my
mind I wouldn't try for it. But I never said so, because it would only
make trouble, and wouldn't do no good.
Now she had got a start, and she went on and told me all about the good
place. She said all a body would have to do there was to go around all
day long with a harp and sing, forever and ever. So I didn't think much
of it. But I never said so. I asked her if she reckoned Tom Sawyer would
go there, and she said not by a considerable sight. I was glad about
that, because I wanted him and me to be together.
Miss Watson she kept pecking at me, and it got tiresome and lonesome. By
and by they fetched the niggers in and had prayers, and then everybody
was off to bed. I went up to my room with a piece of candle, and put it
on the table. Then I set down in a chair by the window and tried to
think of something cheerful, but it warn't no use. I felt so lonesome I
most wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the leaves rustled
in the woods ever so mournful; and I heard an owl, away off, who-whooing
about somebody that was dead, and a whippowill and a dog crying about
somebody that was going to die; and the wind was trying to whisper
something to me, and I couldn't make out what it was, and so it made the
cold shivers run over me. Then away out in the woods I heard that kind of
a sound that a ghost makes when it wants to tell about something that's
on its mind and can't make itself understood, and so can't rest easy in
its grave, and has to go about that way every night grieving. I got so
down-hearted and scared I did wish I had some company. Pretty soon a
spider went crawling up my shoulder, and I flipped it off and it lit in
the candle; and before I could budge it was all shriveled up. I didn't
need anybody to tell me that that was an awful bad sign and would fetch
me some bad luck, so I was scared and most shook the clothes off of me.
I got up and turned around in my tracks three times and crossed my breast
every time; and then I tied up a little lock of my hair with a thread to
keep witches away. But I hadn't no confidence. You do that when you've
lost a horseshoe that you've found, instead of nailing it up over the
door, but I hadn't ever heard anybody say it was any way to keep off bad
luck when you'd killed a spider.
I set down again, a-shaking all over, and got out my pipe for a smoke;
for the house was all as still as death now, and so the widow wouldn't
know. Well, after a long time I heard the clock away off in the town go
boom--boom--boom--twelve licks; and all still again--stiller than ever.
Pretty soon I heard a twig snap down in the dark amongst the trees
--something was a stirring. I set still and listened. Directly I could
just barely hear a "me-yow! me-yow!" down there. That was good! Says I,
"me-yow! me-yow!" as soft as I could, and then I put out the light and
scrambled out of the window on to the shed. Then I slipped down to the
ground and crawled in among the trees, and, sure enough, there was Tom
Sawyer waiting for me.
Scene: The Mississippi Valley Time: Forty to fifty years ago
CHAPTER I.
YOU don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of The
Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain't no matter. That book was made
by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly. There was things which
he stretched, but mainly he told the truth. That is nothing. I never
seen anybody but lied one time or another, without it was Aunt Polly, or
the widow, or maybe Mary. Aunt Polly--Tom's Aunt Polly, she is--and
Mary, and the Widow Douglas is all told about in that book, which is
mostly a true book, with some stretchers, as I said before.
Now the way that the book winds up is this: Tom and me found the money
that the robbers hid in the cave, and it made us rich. We got six
thousand dollars apiece--all gold. It was an awful sight of money when
it was piled up. Well, Judge Thatcher he took it and put it out at
interest, and it fetched us a dollar a day apiece all the year round
--more than a body could tell what to do with. The Widow Douglas she took
me for her son, and allowed she would sivilize me; but it was rough
living in the house all the time, considering how dismal regular and
decent the widow was in all her ways; and so when I couldn't stand it no
longer I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again,
and was free and satisfied. But Tom Sawyer he hunted me up and said he
was going to start a band of robbers, and I might join if I would go back
to the widow and be respectable. So I went back.
The widow she cried over me, and called me a poor lost lamb, and she
called me a lot of other names, too, but she never meant no harm by it.
She put me in them new clothes again, and I couldn't do nothing but sweat
and sweat, and feel all cramped up. Well, then, the old thing commenced
again. The widow rung a bell for supper, and you had to come to time.
When you got to the table you couldn't go right to eating, but you had to
wait for the widow to tuck down her head and grumble a little over the
victuals, though there warn't really anything the matter with them,--that
is, nothing only everything was cooked by itself. In a barrel of odds
and ends it is different; things get mixed up, and the juice kind of
swaps around, and the things go better.
After supper she got out her book and learned me about Moses and the
Bulrushers, and I was in a sweat to find out all about him; but by and by
she let it out that Moses had been dead a considerable long time; so then
I didn't care no more about him, because I don't take no stock in dead
people.
Pretty soon I wanted to smoke, and asked the widow to let me. But she
wouldn't. She said it was a mean practice and wasn't clean, and I must
try to not do it any more. That is just the way with some people. They
get down on a thing when they don't know nothing about it. Here she was
a-bothering about Moses, which was no kin to her, and no use to anybody,
being gone, you see, yet finding a power of fault with me for doing a
thing that had some good in it. And she took snuff, too; of course that
was all right, because she done it herself.
Her sister, Miss Watson, a tolerable slim old maid, with goggles on,
had just come to live with her, and took a set at me now with a
spelling-book. She worked me middling hard for about an hour, and then
the widow made her ease up. I couldn't stood it much longer. Then for
an hour it was deadly dull, and I was fidgety. Miss Watson would say,
"Don't put your feet up there, Huckleberry;" and "Don't scrunch up like
that, Huckleberry--set up straight;" and pretty soon she would say,
"Don't gap and stretch like that, Huckleberry--why don't you try to
behave?" Then she told me all about the bad place, and I said I wished I
was there. She got mad then, but I didn't mean no harm. All I wanted was
to go somewheres; all I wanted was a change, I warn't particular. She
said it was wicked to say what I said; said she wouldn't say it for the
whole world; she was going to live so as to go to the good place. Well,
I couldn't see no advantage in going where she was going, so I made up my
mind I wouldn't try for it. But I never said so, because it would only
make trouble, and wouldn't do no good.
Now she had got a start, and she went on and told me all about the good
place. She said all a body would have to do there was to go around all
day long with a harp and sing, forever and ever. So I didn't think much
of it. But I never said so. I asked her if she reckoned Tom Sawyer would
go there, and she said not by a considerable sight. I was glad about
that, because I wanted him and me to be together.
Miss Watson she kept pecking at me, and it got tiresome and lonesome. By
and by they fetched the niggers in and had prayers, and then everybody
was off to bed. I went up to my room with a piece of candle, and put it
on the table. Then I set down in a chair by the window and tried to
think of something cheerful, but it warn't no use. I felt so lonesome I
most wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the leaves rustled
in the woods ever so mournful; and I heard an owl, away off, who-whooing
about somebody that was dead, and a whippowill and a dog crying about
somebody that was going to die; and the wind was trying to whisper
something to me, and I couldn't make out what it was, and so it made the
cold shivers run over me. Then away out in the woods I heard that kind of
a sound that a ghost makes when it wants to tell about something that's
on its mind and can't make itself understood, and so can't rest easy in
its grave, and has to go about that way every night grieving. I got so
down-hearted and scared I did wish I had some company. Pretty soon a
spider went crawling up my shoulder, and I flipped it off and it lit in
the candle; and before I could budge it was all shriveled up. I didn't
need anybody to tell me that that was an awful bad sign and would fetch
me some bad luck, so I was scared and most shook the clothes off of me.
I got up and turned around in my tracks three times and crossed my breast
every time; and then I tied up a little lock of my hair with a thread to
keep witches away. But I hadn't no confidence. You do that when you've
lost a horseshoe that you've found, instead of nailing it up over the
door, but I hadn't ever heard anybody say it was any way to keep off bad
luck when you'd killed a spider.
I set down again, a-shaking all over, and got out my pipe for a smoke;
for the house was all as still as death now, and so the widow wouldn't
know. Well, after a long time I heard the clock away off in the town go
boom--boom--boom--twelve licks; and all still again--stiller than ever.
Pretty soon I heard a twig snap down in the dark amongst the trees
--something was a stirring. I set still and listened. Directly I could
just barely hear a "me-yow! me-yow!" down there. That was good! Says I,
"me-yow! me-yow!" as soft as I could, and then I put out the light and
scrambled out of the window on to the shed. Then I slipped down to the
ground and crawled in among the trees, and, sure enough, there was Tom
Sawyer waiting for me.
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